Is What We Are Determined To Do Going To Bring Us More Joy?

Jani Roberts: 00:00:07

What, life isn't supposed to suck. Get out of here. Life is supposed to be good for me? I don't think so. Truth? Did you know that you have the power to create your own reality? True? Did you know that you can live the life that you've always desired? Holy? That's right. And that's why we're here. Are you ready? Unless you're on Joy overload, you've come to the right place, it's time to get out of your own way and start creating more of what you want, and less of what you don't end up with the excuses. I'm your host Jani Roberts, let's do this.

Jani Roberts: 00:00:52

We are back and we are determined to be here. You know, some days it takes us all the energy I have. Just to show up. Can you relate to that? It is the determination that we all feel around what our commitments have been made to. And what brings us joy. Today we are talking about determination we are talking about looking at insurmountable obstacles as opportunities. I know. Sometimes you just want to reach through and smack me across the face, because it's not exactly what you want to hear. But hey, the truth is the truth. And when we are looking at these obstacles, which we are looking at all day long, every day, we have got to make a choice around what we are determined to achieve. And what we're not interested in, even participating in one of the Hebrew river translations of determination is a mod, which means to say in one's heart, I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly, to say in one's heart or to think to command to promise or intent. Now, another way of defining determination is kind of stirring it up with purposed. Right when we when we look at the Hebrew word for purposed yet SAR, again, I hope I'm pronouncing this correctly, I loved the study of Hebrew, but I have not so great as a pronunciation. So this is meaning to be predetermined. In other words, we are actually purposing things we are choosing to involve to ourselves to commit to spend our valuable time on a particular subject activity, belief.

Jani Roberts: 00:02:59

Determination deals with a mindset prior to doing something, I gotta get my head on straight. Right, then I'll be determined. And it's a bit different than endurance, right? Once I Once I commit, and I'm in, I'm going to have the endurance to follow through and complete whatever it is that I want to complete. I mean, how many times have I started something and not finished it? I've definitely lost track. And I don't you know what, I beat myself up about it, it is what it is. But as I grew older and wiser, I realized that I wanted to be more particular about what exactly I dedicated myself to really encourage you also to examine what you were determined about, is it really going to serve you? In other words, we can be determined about things like revenge? And is that really going to gain you the joy? Is it really going to make you feel better? How many times in your life have you thought being determined about something, pursuing it, achieving it? What have you would give you that feeling of joy and completion? Only to find out as you arrived there, that it wasn't exactly you know, the buzz that you'd hoped for?

Jani Roberts: 00:04:12

I certainly can, can relate to that. So the determination really presupposes the consideration of at this stage of life, what what is this going to cost me? And what do I need to know what are the requirements in order for me to do this? But if I'm, let's say, I'm committing to something I'm going to learn online or what have you, I'm going to spend a certain amount of money am I going to see it through when to buy a gym membership? I'm going to buy you know, a piece of land and I'm going to expand that into something that I want it to be whatever it is for you. It's a decision.

Jani Roberts: 00:04:52

And it really lies around how is in the having of that in the Achieving of that has Gonna make me feel? Is it worth it? Is it worth it? I mean, it's, it's a great question to ask ourselves, is what we are determined to do with our lives in the current moment? Is it worth it? Is it going to really bring us the joy. And again, this just goes back to the reality that life consists of choices, the choices that we are making in our lives. And we all know that we are probably going to make some that don't turn out so well for us. However, we always refer to this within our teachings that alignment essentials as sifting and sorting, I don't know, unless I try. I mean, if we all know in advance exactly what was the right thing to do, or in order to get us to where we would like to be, to experience more joy, we would, you know, we simply would not be experiencing so much contrast, we'd be getting more of what we want less of what we don't want. Hello. That's what this podcast is all about. So wise choices can often be challenging. And determination is needed to carry them out. We can be tempted to distraction, when it becomes too hard, we can fail, I've certainly done that. We can feel as though halfway down the road, this was wrong, we could discover that we're not disciplined enough to do it, that we're actually sabotaging ourselves to not complete it. Because if we don't finish, then, you know, we can make an excuse. And it wasn't as though we failed, it just wasn't the right thing for us. So we can blame something I can, I can certainly attest to many experiences with people who are saying, I really want to build a business, I want to create this business for myself, I'm tired of working for other people, I want to do this. But of course, like anything, we really don't know what we're getting into before we do it. And when the bumps come and when it gets really challenging. Most people in my experience bail. And then they, to some degree, not always, but to some degree, we'll blame it on the business model or blame it on the bank or blame it on whatever. And it's not to say that, that there, there wasn't resistance from those areas. But we could make it through if we were determined enough to do so. Sometimes failing is just generates so much fear that we can't handle it. How many stories? Have you heard about authors who? I don't remember the exact numbers, but I'm thinking of Harry Potter? How many? How many times did this woman present this idea to a publishing company and get turned down? And this is we've all heard these stories, all of us, you know, I, I tried to sell a song to this many producers, before I ever had, you know, found someone who would actually listen.

Jani Roberts: 00:08:28

So I do believe that JK Rowling knows a little bit about determination. I think that she is really like the queen of it to some degree because she really understood and continues to understand how quickly things can change. How flow can go from, you know, the water hose flow is wide open to a trickle. And a lot of this, if not all of it has to do with the decisions that we make and what motivates us. What inspires us to make these decisions. So this is something I would ask you to think about if determination is purposing to exert as much energy as needed to reach a goal. That is important to me. I'm not a huge fan of that word goal, but you get where I'm coming from. Then, you know, it's like you, you pass the point of no return. Like once you know what you know and you're in, you're in to a certain degree, you just can't, you can't go back. So we develop determination by recognizing the the wins and losses right resulting from a particular choice. And we're able to embrace both of them equally. So when I feel as though I failed. I'm clearly understanding And this does take some practice, I'll be real. But I'm clearly understanding that I just gained massive clarity around what doesn't work. And I could actually take that into and move toward what will work, particularly, if I'm talking about something Well, not really particularly, I was gonna say something career oriented. I mean, this, this works when you're really trying to accomplish anything in life, maybe I'm determined to have a family, I didn't have a family that was functional. You know, I'm making stuff up here. But it just a story always helps. My family was never functional. When I was growing up, son determined, I want that I want to family, I want to have kids, I want to have fun with my family, I want to be able to create healthy relationships, as a mom or a dad with my kids. And I want them to have healthy relationships with their siblings. Because, you know, perhaps I didn't have that. So I'm really determined about this. And everything that I'm doing in my life is geared towards this. Because this is what brings me the most joy. Maybe that's your story? I don't know. But we all have one. And if we're flopping around, you know, we're in this experience of life. And we're just kind of flopping around without anything to feel any determination around. I mean, I'm just determined to live in joy. That is my main determination. How are you? What are you determined about? I would encourage you to grab a pen and paper right now, and see if you can write down something. And if you're sitting there tapping your pencil, you know, against the desk, if you will, like, I have no idea. No, it's okay.

Jani Roberts: 00:11:38

Because for many of us, it's been a long time, since we've actually thought about what would make us happy, not what would make everyone else happy. So it may be at this point in life, it's time to dial it back. We start buying into a lot of beliefs, because they were inundated with them all day long, what we should think how we should think how we should talk, what we should look like, you know, all the bullshit, when all we have to do is check in, regain our power. We talked about this in the last episode, step into our power, and make these decisions for ourselves. And hey, for a lot of people that are you know, what, everybody's decided everything for me, and I'm just going with the flow. Like, my family expects me to do this, my parents expect me to do this, my boss expects me to do this. I'm just doing what I'm expected to do. And you know, if you're joyful in that experience, then who am I or who is anyone else to judge that? If that is working for you, and it's working for you. That's amazing. Continue to do what brings you joy. However, if it is not working for you, if you are finding yourself at a crossroads of I've just spent or I feel as though I'm spending all of my life or a specific part of my life, a current part of my life doing what everyone else expects me to do. To the point where I haven't really thought about what I want to do, then perhaps it's time to pause and reflect what direction am I going in? And why? What is driving me this way? Am I keeping it real with myself? I think just about anybody who has worked very hard to achieve certain things in life would certainly express a sense of gratitude if you were having a conversation with them and appreciation for what they've been able to accomplish in what they've been blessed within their lives. However, I think each one of them speaking honestly, with transparency, would have a story around determination. And a lot of what many would consider failures before gaining the clarity that was necessary to get them where they wanted to go. And then understanding once they got there, that what they excuse me what they had thought I'm getting a little choked up. What they had thought would bring them the joy. They were so certain this was it. It didn't completely maybe partially, or maybe not at all. But there would be a story there. There was more work, more clarity to gain. I certainly have felt in my life if I could make a certain amount of money and help a certain amount of people and live my life authentically. thought that I would be standing more in my power that I could make a bigger difference. And what I came to understand was money. Money is just money, it does absolutely nothing to fill any type of void or gap, it makes life more comfortable. You can be miserable and be more comfortable while you're miserable. But you're still going to be miserable if you're not doing the work. And the idea is to find the perfect balance between prosperity of the mind and body and prosperity of the wallet, and prosperity of the soul and the heart. And you know, all of it that balance, then we get into bliss. And that, to me, sounds like something to be very determined to achieve bliss. When we make those so called wrong choices, we can easily move into a place of depression, disappointment, fatigue, sorrow, grief. And if you've ever lost a business or lost a home, I'm not going to categorize losing a loved one within this because that's, that's a different level of grief.

Jani Roberts: 00:16:29

But at a different level of disappointment, right? That takes us into a whole, a whole world a different kind of world of pain. But yeah, it's it's tricky when we, when we hit these big bumps, and we were so sure. And, you know, we're we come to find that we were, we were wrong. And this just circles back around to what I said earlier, we were wrong in what we assumed, but we weren't wrong in trying, we weren't wrong in the attempt, we just came to some conclusions that didn't work out the way that we thought they would. But that doesn't mean that the experience was an extraordinarily valuable. That doesn't mean that we were wrong in the big picture. It simply means that now we have more information, we have more tools, we are wiser, we might have to dig a little deeper, for more determination to come out for round two around three. But all the great stories are like this, from entrepreneurs to athletes, everyone, every category parenting. How do I come away from something that is that disappointing? When I was so sure, how do I do that? How do I spin that?

Jani Roberts: 00:17:55

I think one of the ways that that really comes to mind and is a close reach is to sit in the pause and reflect back to what it was that you were committing to what it was originally, that you were determined about. And how that feeling makes and made you feel. Because what we may find is that we got a little off course, what we were originally determined about morphed, and we went to the site, you know, we had a little writer a little left and it just didn't quite stay on task. And we almost don't look when did that happen? How did that happen? And perhaps we took partners into our workspace or ask for advice from people, and they are then you know, bringing in their perspective, their their desires, and and we took some of that on and that that made it more a bit. And you know, we were looking for help, we were looking for assistance, we were looking for input. Nothing wrong with that. But that checking in that's why that's so important. That's what we use the practice of checking in on a daily basis so that we stay in the joy and we practice paying attention to how we feel so that when our intuition goes well wait a second there Sparky slow down. We take the pause and we listen. We don't blow that off. And I had blown that off multiple times in my life. And it absolutely should be many more opportunities to sift and sort. So we want to you know, really maintain a clear conscious about this. There's nothing to feel guilty about.

Jani Roberts: 00:20:03

When we are determined, we are energized, we are connected. We are tuned in and tapped in to our power and our flow and our gifts. We just need to check in and keep it real. Why am I doing this? What am I doing this for? Am I connecting this to helping myself to live in my joy and live in my truth? And help others to do that in some way? Or am I bouncing around as my ego getting in here? Have I come off track? Am I bring in my Am I taking on? Or allowing in? Or bringing to me some kind of outer influence? It really isn't connected to my truth? Am I doubting that I can do this myself and therefore turning to others who step in and begin to manipulate the situation? Because I asked them to not because they're like bad people. But because I didn't think that I could. Myself I doubted myself. And now I'm off in a different direction. One that I that I really did not intend. This could be a slippery slope. So checking in is absolutely key. Absolutely. Key. What am I committed to? When I make decisions around? What I want in my life? What's driving it? Am I Am I keeping it real with myself? Or do I want this because I believe in in the having of it. Other people will see me a different way.

Jani Roberts: 00:21:55

Yeah, don't go there. Don't go there. We don't need anyone to see us any differently than we are. We need to see ourselves the way we want to see ourselves, do our work and become who we have. The potential to be and who we naturally are. Joy is an inherent gift. So any obstacles that we encounter along our way on our life journey. Any of those obstacles are welcome. Because they are bringing me the contrast and allowing me to fine tune my desires. This creates excitement. I'm not going to wait and do the hard stuff later or never. I'm going to look at it right now. I'm going to welcome it in. I'm going to do this work, I'm going to learn from it. Anything that I used to see is a problem or a failure or some it's something you know that I did wrong in my life. Well, I'm not going to allow that to keep me from trying again, I'm going to go bring it on.

Jani Roberts: 00:23:10

I can check in. I can come if this is what I want. If I am determined in this course of action, then I can look at it from a different perspective to find my way. That's all I have to do. And sure, I can get input from others and find you know, find and feel out their perspective. But at the end of the day, I'm going to stand in my truth and power. And if I'm going to be able to find the determination to see this through, then I have to do the work. It's on me to do it. And I know that you will do it or you're you absolutely will do it. You're doing it right now, by listening to this podcast, you are determined to move forward. You are determined to have more joy in your life and experience more of what you want and less of what you don't and hands down. Everything you desire is on its way to you if you are able and willing and determined enough to allow it to be received. And with that, I will let you go with determination. Onward and upward look forward to talking to you again soon. Be well take care of you. Peace.