Learning To Shift

Jani Roberts: 00:00:07

What. Life isn't supposed to suck? Get out of here. Life is supposed to be good for me? I don't think so. Truth? Did you know that you have the power to create your own reality? True? Did you know that you can live the life that you've always desired? Holy? That's right. And that's why we're here. Are you ready? Unless you're on Joy overload, you've come to the right place. It's time to get out of your own way and start creating more of what you want, and less of what you don't end up with the excuses. I'm your host God, Robert. Let's do this. Welcome back, everybody really happy to be here again. As always, I am excited today I have a very special guest in the house. It is my sister. And we come from a very, very strong family bloodline. So be slightly afraid, just little. How are you doing?

Jani Roberts: 00:01:10

I'm good God, how are you?

Jani Roberts: 00:01:12

I'm so grateful for you to be here. You guys. Deb is a the owner of true wellness, yoga and nutrition. She is of course, my sister, my older says just have to point that out. I always do. And she has been working with people for a very long time to help them find a healthy balanced through science based nutrition, nothing like a little science to take that bullshit out of the game. And she also helps people to bring that into a mind body connection, which is so huge. So if you are stressed, or you need more energy, or you want to sleep better, or just feel more ease in your own body and in your relationships, she's a girl. So we are going to have a chat, Deb's got a really interesting personal story. I know we all do. So I know I knew that you guys would really relate to the journey that she's been on throughout her life and how she's been able to use not just the tools here at AEA, but she's helped create some of the tools here at EY. But she's also just knows what it feels like to be searching for tools to be really tapping in to that inner one who's like looking always, like there's got to be a way there's got to be a way love supposed to be better. I know life is supposed to be good for me. She has been down that road, and she can talk to you about that from the heart. So I'm really excited that you're here, Dad, let's get this party started. So um, you know, we grew up on a farm, we got to eat real food, the majority of the time, right? breathe clean air, spend time on horses. I know you're a big animal advocate. And just, you know, be kids when we were growing up, we really got to do that. And so I think, you know, we could say that we basically had a great childhood, there's bumps in every childhood, but mostly right, it was pretty easygoing. Not too. Not too freaked out. We were really blessed. We waited and got all that later in life. jumped over all our hurdles. So share with everybody if you will, because I love this part of your story about how what brought you to yoga because a you are a yogi, true and true. So this is a lifestyle for you. It's not just something you do on the weekends. How did you find yoga? what's your what's your yoga story?

Deb Vance: 00:03:38

Well, first, Jenny, thank you so much for that awesome introduction. And I'm so happy to be here with all of you. To answer your first question on what brought me to yoga? Well, you know, I was into dance as a young child, and teenager and work my way into fitness. I really love Pilates. And then I just got so exhausted of the rat race, and I needed to quiet my mind. But I also wanted to work out really hard. So I did find yoga. And what it did for me was immediately I was able to breathe. I I always had that knowledge and education and capacity on how to breathe. But I wasn't able to sit still. And it wasn't able to focus on me. Because I was always focused on so many other things and so many other people. Alright, so I find my place in yoga, I find my place on the mat and then it's just like I couldn't get off of it. So I still did other things. I still did you know my cardio, all that those important things but for yoga, I was reintroduced to myself. Wow, that's huge. Yeah, like who am I? I started to think about all these things. You know, who am I? Why Am I here? You know, what is my purpose? All of the things that we think about, that we think about? And that is not a question that is answered overnight.

Jani Roberts: 00:05:09

Yeah, that's, that takes work. And I really appreciate you, your transparency in that. Because, you know, when you say you can't breathe, I'm not sure that people know what you mean. I'm sure a lot of people are identifying with it, for sure. But we all kind of can translate that a lot of different ways. So I just want to bring some attention to that. Because when we talk about this, and and if you want to share what that meant for you, that's fine. You know, that, that's great. But I think, for the audience, you know, guys, if you feel like that, when we talk about we can't breathe, it's like, the stress is so intense, or the insomnia is so bad, or the menopause is sending me over the edge, or my dysfunctional relationship is cutting off my air supply. Or I'm not living my life in my truth, or, you know, like, for the above.

Jani Roberts: 00:06:07

Take age, or just all fit. Yeah, so that's perfect. That's perfect. I love that. Because I just want people to understand, like, we are all so much more alike than different. And when you say, you know, you, you, you got on the mat, and then you kind of never got off the mat. That's beautiful. You know, and I want people to understand that the discovery of self and getting back on track with what you want, and maybe just on track, because you don't even you've never had time to think about what you want is doable. And never ending, right. Yeah,

Jani Roberts: 00:06:43

yeah. So when I think about that, not being able to get off the mat, I really actually wasn't physically able to get off. So I'm in Shavasana. Okay, in my resting pose, I've worked my practice for that hour, hour and 15 minutes. And I'm in shavasana, which is the most important pose of your practice, right? So I am there and it's time to move, I can't move, I cannot move my body, it is stuck on the mat. So that that was was pretty, pretty interesting. And I loved it. It wasn't like I was upset about it. Or, you know, I thought, Oh, this is great. So then I understood what it meant to take your practice off of your mat into your life. Okay, so jump on the mat, do your practice and jump off and go, do like, right, right.

Jani Roberts: 00:07:34

So you're only really working your practice in that in that way, which is fine. When you're first discovering and learning, right? Kind of in the time that you're in the yoga studio, or if you're doing it virtually, you know, you're doing it but like you said, the classes, you know, you start and you're in it and it ends in, you're not in it anymore. Now you're talking about actually understanding the expansion of that where you allow that experience to go with you throughout the day. Mm hmm.

Jani Roberts: 00:08:01

And then let's tie breath in there. So as I'm going about my day, I'm realizing, acknowledging that I am breathing, I'm feeling the expansion through my body. And through my mind, I'm feeling all of it and feeling more whole. feeling alive. Yeah. Okay. And I'm not looking for it anywhere else out there.

Jani Roberts: 00:08:24

Right, you're not going outside yourself, you've discovered. So that's, that's a, that's an aha moment, right? We all have those. And for the listeners, I just, I want you to know that if you are stuck right now, in your experience, this is possible for you. This is really an extremely doable for you. It's just a matter of keeping an open mind and an open heart, right. And when we're struggling, that's not so easy all the time. Right? The more you do this, the easier it gets. It's like anything, and we got to cut ourselves some slack. You know, if we go into a new job, we don't go in there, like, Oh, I know exactly where to find everything. And I know exactly what I'm going to do. And my relationships are all intact. No, you have to build all of that. So there's the job, the actual tasks that you do for the work, but then there's that whole other job that you have to do to find your kind of space and place, right. And we have to do this for ourselves in our own lives. We do it like when we go to work because we have to, you know what I mean? Like in our mind, like I have to adapt, but that's what I feel when you say that, like I can feel that through my whole body this, this feeling of Whoa, I get it. This is This is that. Do you feel like that came through repetition?

Jani Roberts: 00:09:42

I do. Of course. I mean, even to this day, I have my stuff, right? I mean, but I feel like I'm separated from it now. Like it's kind of over here. So I can deal with it when I'm ready to deal with it if I want to deal with it if I don't want to deal with it. It's not within me so much. I'm not carrying all these burdens around. Oh, I love it. So it's really, it's really enlightening and it's just so powerful and so peaceful.

Jani Roberts: 00:10:10

Yeah, peace. That's, that's something that people could use some of, you know, it reminds me of when we, when we're doing the warrior Tai Chi yoga, that that we co created. And thank you again for your inspiration there. You're welcome. That was really a fun project. That's, that's really an even in the course. You know, that's kind of I love the way you said you just kind of shelve it. Is that what you said? You just kind of put it aside.

Jani Roberts: 00:10:38

You can shove it Yeah, yeah, you can do that.

Jani Roberts: 00:10:41

With love, right? Just kind of sitting over there, all your shit, just go, Okay, I know you exist. But that doesn't mean you need to monopolize my entire life like, this happened. This is here, whatever, I'm working on this. But during this time, I'm just going to put this over here for right now. With gratitude, really, you know, even if it's a mess, right? Just, you're learning from it. But you set yourself apart. And I feel like you know, in the course, we're doing that same thing, discovering the possibilities, right. And when we are in tight on our Tai Chi practice, we we go into that moving meditation for relief. And that's what that reminded me of what when you said that because it's like, when you're able to put that aside, just for a few minutes, you know? It just it's so it's heavy, right? It's a relief. So you go into that moving meditation, like, I'm finding some relief, like I don't expect to move from, from pain to joy in an hour, necessarily, but I can move from pain to relief, which certainly feels better. Or from anger or frustration or, you know, wherever, right, right? I love that.

Jani Roberts: 00:11:53

So let's just say after the after class, right? So then all the other stuff is right here, right? So I can I've gotten to this point where let's use pain, for example, right? Pain to joy. So pain is going to be right in front of my face. I mean, we all have it, right. So whether it's emotional, whether it's physical, whatever, but in my case is most mostly emotional. So I, when I started to feel that, because of the breathing, the lung capacity, let's not forget that, that I have that I that is improved in my body. Through the breathing through the practice, I'm able to take that pain and let that pain sort of just slide through me. flow through me. And kind of like out the other side, in my mind. Right? So it doesn't like stay in back in me it kind of is it is still out here. But I'm allowing, I'm allowing it to go through. So I'm acknowledging it, I'm not pushing it away. I'm not pushing it down, like I used to do forever. Now I just kind of let it flow through me. And it's because I'm, I've learned how to separate it more now. It's more separated from me. Does that make sense?

Jani Roberts: 00:13:16

Yeah, that's beautiful. And I really love that. It just makes me think of chi, right? This is we're talking about energies, that we have this energy around things that have we've been through in our lives or are going through and we're always going to be going through right. Especially right now, this is a time of a big flux. I mean, there's just a lot of change going on right now. And we are either going to move with. And that doesn't mean we have to agree with everything or anything like that. I'm not talking about opinions, I'm just talking about the energy of it, or we fight and we push against, like physically. So we already have been doing that. That's probably what led if you're listening, that's probably how you ended up here. Because you're like, ah, you know, I feel like I'm pushing against again, let me see if I can get some ideas as to how I can not do this, like I want to change this behavior. How do I change my behavior around this? Because it's exhausting. Right, this pushing it down and pushing it away. And then it just shows up in the form of I don't know, an ulcer or a headache or right.

Jani Roberts: 00:14:26

Yes. And not only does it affect you, it affects everyone around you. Yeah. And you know, I mean, I don't like to hear that or say it but it does. It does.

Jani Roberts: 00:14:36

And if you care about that, you know, if you want your energy, I mean obviously it's our job to take care of ourselves. We do that then there will be everyone will want to be present near us. You know what I'm saying are the like minded people are going to come to us and the the other people are going to move away and we don't love them more or less. We're We're just not, you know, we're not vibing in the same place, right, we're on it looks like they're on 96.5 and we're on one Oh, 2.5 Peace out, it's all good. But, you know, we're in a different vibe. And we want to all be where we feel best. So it's like, you're using all these tools to fine tune that station, right and, and keep working your way to your right on top of that with complete clarity, there isn't any static, when the static comes in, you know how to re you know, adjust that frequency, or move with that energy, all of that. That's huge, because I think most of us are just kind of, you know, we, if we're not doing it, now, we relate to trying to make shit happen and trying to force things and just putting up with crap. And, you know, all of that energy is part of our experience. So that's a big deal. make that shift. That's a really big deal. And like I said, very doable.

Jani Roberts: 00:16:00

Right, I'm still making it, I still make it every day, you know. So that's great. And it's really, it has really helped me as an entrepreneur. Because I can, I can understand people better. And different personalities better I can understand, maybe, maybe why people do what they do, which is none of my business. However, I'm just more. I don't know. You have more clarity? I do. I have a ton. I have a ton of clarity around that. And you were saying you were talking about chasing things. I'm going to go ahead and talk a little bit about how I chased a college degree.

Jani Roberts: 00:16:44

That's a good one, huh? So

Jani Roberts: 00:16:47

would you like to hear about that? I would love to

Jani Roberts: 00:16:49

hear. Okay, everybody thinks I know all your dirt, but I don't know all your dirt.

Jani Roberts: 00:16:54

Okay. All right. So, um, I did go back. When my kids were little, I went back and I got my associate's degree in social science, which was awesome. I mean, that was a big deal for me, because I was always an entrepreneur. And I was just like, I don't want to really go to college and do one thing and all of that. And then I thought, well, there must be something wrong with me because I don't want to do that. Okay, everybody else is doing that. Okay, and everybody else is

Jani Roberts: 00:17:22

the voices in her head.

Jani Roberts: 00:17:25

This is way back to, but believe me, I still get those little voices sometimes. But so what I did was I, I chased that thing, I put so much energy into that thing, that bachelor's degree after that, so we would move a lot. So I would take classes at a university or a college and I would just be like, Okay, I'm gonna do this, okay. Usually revolved around, you know, some kind of nutrition or, you know, something, but I, there was no end goal, right? Because I was never in one place long enough to even get it while you could transfer. But that's a whole other thing. Well, that's a man. Then my interest kept changing, because I'm an entrepreneur, right? Sure. So of course, easy. Okay, but I'm not. So then I still chase that thing. You know, like, did you ever ever hear about like, when, okay, this is a little dark, but when, maybe not, when somebody, a person would start maybe drinking too much, for example, at a certain age. At that time, they socially just stop growing. And I know this from my studies, right? So at some point, I didn't know and that person wasn't me. But I mean, I did my share of breaking. Okay, then, just for an example. That's just an example. So when I had made up my mind that I am not going to be what I need to be worthy or who I need to be until I get this degree. I kept chasing it. I could not see anything but that. Okay. Do I have that degree? No. I want that degree anymore. No, absolutely. Not. Interesting. And now it's like all that energy I spent. Right? doing that. I could have, but that's okay. It's all coming back to me now. I mean, it's renewable, right? And it's just all coming in like very, very quickly. So what I had to do is, I had to socially in that same, okay. I had it socially catch up. Because I was like, so when I was doing all that I was getting into these really stupid relationships. I was like, I was like, trying to fix all these people. And I was trying to fix me and nothing was and I was I still had this happy face. And I was so I had this major front and I had this mask on it was like I was she has your shit together. Like if you didn't write it But if you didn't know me, I looked like a really ambitious together. So anyway, I don't want to go too far off track. But this is all really important to bring it back together. Absolutely. To know that now let's just, let's just read. So now, I have realized I just needed to be seen. Absolutely. Who does? Who doesn't want to be heard? Everybody want to be celebrated?

Jani Roberts: 00:20:28

This is so important. All

Jani Roberts: 00:20:31

of this. Okay, so now, and don't get me wrong, people were celebrating me along the way I see it because I had crazy. Okay, so I don't really don't know how to describe that kind of crazy, but I probably will write a book

Jani Roberts: 00:20:48

about it someday. Yeah, I think everybody that's listening can relate. Because we all I think that most people at some point in their life have done that they put laser focus on something to distract them from their bullshit. And when they are when they don't know what to do, that reminds me of like, for me, I didn't know what to do to get where I wanted to go in my career, and I didn't have anybody to go to for help. So I just kept throwing darts at the board, you know, and, like a machine like, you know, you're just like, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it just like you were describing you once you set your mind to it, it's like I'm not you just blinders on. This is kind of a part of this strong bloodline thing. Work ethic that farmer work ethic, like. So it's, it's, it's, but it is a blessing. And when you're able to look at what you've done with your life and go that was so valuable, because I learned, you know, that other people's expectations have nothing to do with me, the expectations of society, are just shit that people are making up to, in order to control me, really, to some degree to make my decisions for me. And again, there's I don't, I don't want this to feel as though you know, if you've ever done that, you're failing. That's not what I'm saying at all. I'm saying we all do it. Because it's coming at us from all directions. Be this, do this, by this have this. I mean, don't get me into, you know, on capitalism, right? It's like, all around and everywhere. So this is so important to recognize how it comes full circle. And it doesn't matter when because we never get this work done.

Jani Roberts: 00:22:37

Exactly. I feel like my life is just like, I'm just getting started. I'm like Jane Fonda.

Jani Roberts: 00:22:43

Yes. Yeah. We love Jane. We do. She's such an inspiration. Because she's, she's a love rap. You know, she represents love. And for all. And, yeah, it's, she's a great human. So I, I love this idea. I just wanted to linger here for another moment with our listeners. So I want to make sure they really heard you when you said I do I want that anymore. Absolutely not. So that's the message here, guys. It's going to move around. It's going to move around. If you go to school, and you spend $40,000 Going to school only to figure out you can tell I haven't gotten to school and while only to figure out that that's not what you want to do. And you told everybody that's what you're going to do. And now you realize you don't want to do it. That's okay. You don't need anyone's permission to change your mind. It's the only thing you can control is your mind. You have gathered so I know personally that you gathered so many tools during your years when in school and you're always in some kind of school even in now it's more yoga. You know base more like you know one off certs and take continue your education because you already have so much education but you know it the message is you are not you are not your job. What you do for a living does not define who you are.

Jani Roberts: 00:24:18

No, it doesn't. And I actually just sat outside last night and said those exact words to myself. It was so nice out last night and I just sat there in the breeze and thought I am perfectly comfortable sitting here knowing that I am not my job. I am not my job.

Jani Roberts: 00:24:38

You are not your job. I love it.

Jani Roberts: 00:24:41

And for so long. I chase that exact thing. Yeah,

Jani Roberts: 00:24:46

I love it. I love it. I love it. Guys, if you're listening, I hope you're like hands in the air. I am not my job. I am not my job. I am not my job. Even if you love what you do, you're not your job. Alright, so you know we're here To help you if you're not already on the road to discovery, and you found your way here today to continue this journey into your truth. And Deb, I can't thank you enough for being here today for sharing your story. There is a giveaway for you guys listening and if you just check your show notes, you'll see info advanced yoga.com and advanced yoga.com ws Yoga is the website as well. But email Deb, she'll give you a complimentary virtual class, whether it's in health coaching, yoga, you know, whatever you'd like, we can do something virtually for you. communicate directly with her. And, you know, remember your truth. You know, there's no reason to live in a struggle. 24/7 life is supposed to be good for you and hear from Deb and I we've got nothing but love for you. So join us. Come and find some peace in your life. You deserve it. We're out for this week. Talk to you next week, guys. Nothing but love. Peace.

Jani Roberts: 00:26:02

Thanks, everybody.