How Do We Overcome The Challenges That Life Continually Throws At Us? We Do It Together.

Unknown: 00:00:07

What? Life isn't supposed to suck. Get out of here. Life is supposed to be good for me? I don't think so. Truth? Did you know that you have the power to create your own reality? True? Did you know that you can live the life that you've always desired? Holy?That's right. And that's why we're here. Are you ready? Unless you're on Joy overload, you've come to the right place, it's time to get out of your own way and start creating more of what you want, and less of what you don't end up with the excuses. I'm your host Jani Roberts. Let's do this.

Unknown: 00:00:52

Welcome back, everyone, for another episode. Here at living in alignment. We are very excited today we have a guest. We do this periodically. And it's always a privilege and a pleasure. We are going to dive into some juicy stuff today. So grab your cup of tea, some water, get comfy, relax, settle in, and prepare for a great, great story that I'm sure will not only touch your heart, but will also we hope inspire you to live your full life in your truth. So today, without further ado, I'm extremely excited to have Daniel French here with me today. Now I have to tell you a little backstory about how we met. It's super cool. Because we are super cool women, are we not?

Unknown: 00:01:44

We met at a Trevor Hall concert. So there

Unknown: 00:01:48

it was magical. mutual friend of ours, connected us there. And not only did we have an amazing experience, it was kind of a off the road portion of the tour. So it was very small and intimate and magical. But while we were there, my sister and I were Danielle asked us where you guys stand. And I we said well, we're just going to find a b&b or Airbnb or something, you know, we don't know we're winging it. And she said, Why don't you stay at my house. And we were like, what? And we did, and it was amazing. So I just want to put that out there because these things can still happen. And we do not need to be afraid to connect with people, we need to be open. And I'm so grateful to have been in that energy to have met you at that location in that perfect divine timing space. And that we were able to go and be in your home. And it was just like a big flashback to my, to my you know, back in the days in college and stuff when it was like, you know, road trip and out to concerts. And we'll just make it up as we go along. It was extraordinarily freeing. So I want to thank you in advance for that hospitality.

Unknown: 00:03:03

It was a magical. So when I give you a little bit of Danielle's background, and then she's gonna share her story, which she has shared quite a bit with me and I was extremely moved by it, and inspired by it, and hence why we're here together today. So currently, Danielle is involved in ownership of a 7000 square foot 24/7 fitness facility. And she's been doing that for about eight years, I can really relate to that. Because while it was not 24/7, I did have a 20,000 square foot all women's facility for some time and work there prior to that, for some time we have a lot in common is my point. She's also certified as a group, exercise instructor, personal trainer, nutritional coach, all of that we have in common. She's mastering yoga, I'm more into the Tai Chi Chi Gong. She's also a senior specialist. And I am almost a senior so that

Unknown: 00:04:05

technically, I'm in my third trimester of life. So there you have it. And for five years, she's been working for a National Weight Management Company, which I think is really cool. And I recently done some work I'm unable to do to an NDA talk a lot about that. But I've been doing some work in that realm as well. And it's quite fascinating what's happening in

Unknown: 00:04:30

the breath, Mind Body, Soul science world, if you will, there is some major shifting happening there, which is nice. And then you know,

Unknown: 00:04:41

a really cool fact is that she was also a bodybuilder. She did some bikini procom competition, which is always

Unknown: 00:04:51

great. I feel for building self esteem. It takes a certain kind of human, but I've done a lot of coaching in that realm. I've coached a

Unknown: 00:05:00

lot of pro bodybuilders and fitness competitors and triathletes and I love, love love working with that category of sports. And I find that

Unknown: 00:05:12

people that are involved in that are very much about just being the best that they can be, and finding a place to put their energy and

Unknown: 00:05:24

really value their own relationship with their body. So it's very exciting. Now, her passion for fitness and health and people in business is pretty obvious, right? So that creates a very qualified person. And a little fun fact, is that she does like road trips, obviously, that's how she ended up at Trevor Hall. But she's lived in quite a few states, eight states. And travel we also have in common,

Unknown: 00:05:52

enabled her to arrive at the truth that no matter what the accent is,

Unknown: 00:05:59

and I'll add or what music people listen to, or what their spiritual path is. I know for me, whenever I traveled, how do you pray, and how do you eat. Because you can tell a lot about people buy their rituals, right? And just stepping into these contrasting environments where people would do things really differently. I always really embrace that. And, and she did as well. And she found that the common denominator is that people just simply want to be respected, and loved. And I'll add to that, and live mostly enjoying, right, so we have a lot more in common than we don't Contrary to popular belief. So with all of that, I know it's a lot. But she's, she's got a lot going on. She's a big spirit. So welcome, Danielle, thank you so much for being here. Jamie, thank you for having me.

Unknown: 00:06:53

You've said a lot about how we met and my background with you goes further back because of owning the facility. Your programs that you ran, touched my heart touched my business touched my my life and my success and helping others as an empowered woman as you are and how you continue to step out of fear and more into where your being is called, I think it's safe to stay safe. And and Howard women aren't afraid of making new ways. And to watch you do that and to follow you and quietly. And then when I did meet you at Trevor Hall, I was like, oh, it's Jenny.

Unknown: 00:07:37

Because you know, just that super strength. And, you know, I think when you have all kinds of energy,

Unknown: 00:07:46

you're drawn to that same energy. And you really want to combine that to spread more. And so when I met you, but of course, it was so easy to invite you into my home, I knew who you were. And I'm so glad you did that and stepped in. And you know, here we are. So thank you for having me today. And thank you for letting me share where I am, you spoke about where it came from and want to doing a little update on that COVID changed everything, of course for so many. And I ended up selling my business at the end of last year. So for this year, I started working for one of the large healthcare systems here in Rochester, and I run their wellness center. So now I'm taking care of professionals within the healthcare system. Still running the center, and managing more than training. So I'm taking all the business and everything I've learned and doing what I'm doing now and just really trusting every step. But it definitely a change of being the entrepreneur onto payroll, but less stress and it's part of the you know, we talked about self care and being willing to do what you need to do to take care of you. And that's where I'm at right now. And I wasn't looking for this position, they actually found me in my resume, I was doing some real estate, which was totally different for me, you know, COVID, again, open doors. But being here and being back into my lane and where I feel organically available for the universe to use me where I can be so I gotten the opportunities now to work with all the leads and all the pharmacies from 32 Different leads. So those pharmacy techs or pharmacist lead, full pharmacy teams, and I got to speak and work with them with yoga. It's just been a really a great opportunity here within this system. Fantastic. We're always learning. Yeah, always, always learning. And I learned that you're, I'm just going to use this word because it's what's coming caring for these fitness professionals.

Unknown: 00:10:00

Um, you know, maybe some of them are newer to the industry, and some have been around a long time. But this was really key in our industry, because,

Unknown: 00:10:08

you know, in in many countries, you have to have a degree in exercise science to even work in a facility. And here in the States, that's not the case. And I think this is really important for our listeners to understand that you really want to qualify with love, without judgment, those who are you're attracting into your experience to help you heal, whether it's physically or emotionally, however it is, you really want to check in, you know, with their energy with their background with their intention. And I know, for me, you know, growing up in that industry, I had a couple of great mentors, but I could have used more,

Unknown: 00:10:50

you know, just to guide me, you know, through the education process, and how to how to really kind of set your own standard, you know, if you will, so it's, it's super cool to me that you're doing that, because you can take all of your experience, and fast track people that are newer to the industry. That's huge. Back in the day, I was a sales director of Mary Kay. And I think that was a big change in the shift of how I saw business and did business. And Mary Kay always said, treat each person like they're the only person in the room, treat them how you want to be treated.

Unknown: 00:11:28

high integrity. And so I'm a lady and my word and my lady of faith, and if my word and my heart

Unknown: 00:11:36

and my actions don't meet up, then what is it in? You know, I think as women, we sometimes we're like, we're moms or wives, where

Unknown: 00:11:48

we're, you know, our professional, whatever we do in our professional, we get lost in all who, who we what we do, versus who we are. And I just have always

Unknown: 00:12:02

tried, which I feel all the time to be a woman of excellence. And I'm not a detail oriented person, I can say I am a big pert, big picture. But through Mary Kay, I learned to have the right people in my team that could take care of those things to get more done.

Unknown: 00:12:21

I did earn a couple of free cars, and I was the director of Medicaid for years. But that mindset of kind of,

Unknown: 00:12:30

they'll be, you know, do your best and succeed. And when I got into health, my fitness career, I never thought I would be a bodybuilder, my first husband was more willing and still is morbidly obese. And it didn't start out that way. He just as our marriage went along, and we had difficulties with conceiving children and, and the stress that came along with that came the stress of his helps, and it really impacted. I'd always grown up athletic, you know, with my first child, I gained quite a bit, but I never was obese, but I always struggled. You know, I was definitely that 30 to 50 pounds, unhealthy, unhappy. And so I always worked at it, but knowing how much his his weight affected him his self love, which affected our marriage, which in turn affected our infertility issues. And then once we did conceive it affecting how we raised our child, and it impacted me that I wanted to help others. And so I helped myself first by losing the weight. And when I was with the national company, I lost the weight with them, and then became a leader with them and worked with them in five different states, as you said, for five years. And it was a lot of fun helping others learn that it's not, you know, weight loss and weight management. It's not about one great day or about being perfect all the time. It's about making progress, and

Unknown: 00:14:07

been doing bodybuilding for myself. That was never, I never had that goal. Prior to going into that experience. I always wanted to be healthy, so I could help others and especially for my children. I wanted to be the mom that if we were at a pool party that I could get in the pool with them and be enjoy my child, not be worried about what other people think or say if he wanted to go mountain climbing I wanted if he wanted to ride a horse because his father couldn't do those things. And I wanted to make sure I could and then watching other women struggle with that same thing of being

Unknown: 00:14:48

trapped inside of themselves and usually hurt people do things to find things and I know his childhood trauma, set his course of weight

Unknown: 00:15:00

if that was what he could control of eating, and I wanted to help other people get healthy and realize that usually when you pick up a key or a large meal

Unknown: 00:15:12

is the control, it's you're hurting, and we all go to a device and whatever trauma and, you know, I know his trauma and I know my trauma, and how I've, you know, when I went into body building, that was really a way I was dealing with the trauma of another failed marriage and being kind of abandoned in my marriage and being

Unknown: 00:15:37

having goals and dreams. And in that marriage that didn't end with bodybuilding, I could control that. I could get up every morning, I could have the discipline.

Unknown: 00:15:47

I could eat what I needed to receive results, it was really about control. And I'm 30 pounds heavier now than I was on stage, and I'm, you know, 15 pounds heavier than I really want to be, and but I'm I'm healthy. I'm taking care of myself being active.

Unknown: 00:16:08

And life is about progress. And I think trauma is something it just keeps coming up that so many people have have trauma. And one thing in my life right now I went through a domestic violence issue earlier this year, that totally changed my life. And that's how I met you shortly after, was getting my hair done. And a girlfriend was talking to me about my voice. I've had a voice for years and led and been, you know, on different clinics, and different radio shows. I've done a lot with people and with domestic violence.

Unknown: 00:16:47

My voice was stifled because you and I were speaking to this, I was embarrassed. How could this happen to me? Well, what did I do, nobody else gets it. And she sat in her chair and she's like, you have a voice to help. When you're ready. It'll be time to talk. What an angel trauma. When we are hurt in any way. It could be you know, we lose a parent, we lose a child, we lose a marriage, we lose our finances, we lose our career, the government, you know, whatever that trauma is our pain response, all of a sudden shoots so high. So any pain that we normally have in life

Unknown: 00:17:30

that we can deal with, all of a sudden that pain is so close that trauma caused that we hit that ceiling of pain, so the pain is so much easier. And that pain might be physical pain where people have fibromyalgia, or lower for me as lower back pain, I've always kind of struggled with it, but with my trauma just seems unbearable. But it's been getting my head healthy to realize,

Unknown: 00:17:57

nope, that is just my body trying to heal for from my trauma. And I think that was a big pivot for me. And I hope I can help other people understand that when you're in trauma. And for whatever it is,

Unknown: 00:18:14

give yourself a little grace to deal with the pain that you actually feel because that pain has probably always been there. But it's so it's just like if your hand is burnt.

Unknown: 00:18:26

And then you touch something that hurts faster, because it's pain there. And our bodies do the same thing.

Unknown: 00:18:35

And we have to give ourselves the space to take care of ourselves. So when I say I work for a corporate and it's where I need to be. It's what I'm doing. And, you know, knowing I can now come in and talk about domestic violence and a way that I don't fall apart. Exactly, you're empowered to do it. If you are in that space in your life and you have trauma, and you can't speak about it and you fall apart. It's okay. And it's so normal. I'm not talking today about trauma that happened yesterday, or that I haven't done a whole lot of work with trauma specialist. within myself within really close friends. It's taken me a long time to and it's still at the surface, it's still at the surface

Unknown: 00:19:26

to get to a point where I can go

Unknown: 00:19:29

I'm not alone. I've met the people and you're not alone to know that people go through so much stuff and it's okay to wear it on your sleeve and let people in to go. I hurt that sucks but it's also okay to keep fighting forward. You have to not let what somebody else did to you or something that happened to you, holds you back from doing what you want, or what you know you should

Unknown: 00:20:00

You'd be doing, maybe you don't do it the way you had done it in the past. You know, I was doing some personal training my home, I love personal training, I have a full gym at home, I am moving and I'm selling it, it's such a,

Unknown: 00:20:16

like, that was such a goal for me then. But I'm like, you know, I'm in a different place in my life. And it's okay to let that go and know that I can still help people in a different way. So I'm doing what I need for what I want to do, to move forward to helping myself, but to know, I'm going to be able to help people in a different capacity and go, it's okay for things to change, because it's always going to change, always, always going to change. Yes, and being able to be open to that change. You know, I really appreciate your transparency, there are a couple of things that really stuck out for me, and I'm sure with the listeners, we all we all hear different things what we need to hear, right. But I really appreciate the compassion that you expressed around your former husband who had the obesity problem. Because, you know, so often within our industry, we only talk about women and their issues with being overweight, and men suffer the same way. And we just don't hear a lot about that. So I think it's, it's very important to take that in. And it all comes back to compassion. Right? I mean, we are really living in a climate where a lot of people would like us to stay

Unknown: 00:21:41

separated.

Unknown: 00:21:43

And like I mentioned earlier, you know, feel that, you know, it's kind of like every man for himself, every woman for herself. And it's just simply not true. It's just a belief that's being instilled. And like so many other beliefs that we have. And that's really what I was getting from your story. I just really appreciate your transparency. I really honor your willingness to share, because this is difficult stuff to talk about. But you're obviously extraordinarily passionate about helping other people to realize there's hope, and they're not alone. And this is truth. We are never alone. And you know, one of the things that I find extraordinarily interesting around the science of trauma, if you will, within the shamanic work that I do, one of the very key points, and you really just said it in a different way,

Unknown: 00:22:37

is that, you know, we have a tendency when we experience trauma, to not acknowledge it. And it's a human aspect of who we are. So let's say for example,

Unknown: 00:22:49

I've talked about things like this before on previous podcasts, but just to kind of drive the point home. Let's say for example, you know, you're playing with your kid in the park, and he runs out in front of a car, and the car, you know, the ball goes flying, the kid goes running, you turn your head for two seconds, the car scratches on its brakes. And, you know, we don't have an accident, but everybody feels like they did. Right? So mom is crying the drivers like oh my gosh, and not so the kid looks up doesn't get hit and might be like, I'm okay. Except now the child's reacting to the adults who are reacting, which is completely normal, right? So then what we might do as a parent, not judging, I'm saying this is probably something I would do, scoop that kid up and just squeeze him like, Oh, you're safe, you're safe, you're safe. Okay, thank goodness, thank goodness, totally normal. However, there is something that happens within the body biologically, that is built in where we need to release the trauma that just happened because that was trauma.

Unknown: 00:23:57

So we have a tendency to immediately start stuffing things down.

Unknown: 00:24:02

And if you watch animals, because I really live and breathe and work with a lot of animals, because they're just amazing teachers.

Unknown: 00:24:10

You know, if you watch a doe, before it's going to be killed, or a buck or whatever, like, let's just say a deer is running, being chased. An animal will freeze right before it's captured. And the science behind that is that there are chemical changes that happen in that experience so that that animal does not experience physical pain.

Unknown: 00:24:36

And so through my trauma with one of my traumas with a car accident, I can tell the story of what happened there without I couldn't be medicated any of that I remember my body bouncing off the table as they were taking me in. And that was trauma releasing through my body my body's natural way of, you know, people say, Oh, you're in shock. You didn't feel anything. That's the body's way of letting go.

Unknown: 00:25:00

Oh, okay. So within our society, we've come to a place where it's like, don't show that.

Unknown: 00:25:09

Or we just don't know what to do with it. You know, we just literally don't know what to do with it. So we kind of, don't talk about it, we tuck it away, we suffer. That's the pain, right? That you're referring to. And it's so powerful. You know, as you were talking, I could just feel how it was leaving you. And I can feel, you know, through so many people that I speak to have, they're just like, paralyzed by the fear, by the pain, by the suffering. And it's like, what do I do with it?

Unknown: 00:25:45

Where do I put this? It's like, here it is.

Unknown: 00:25:49

What do I What do I do with this? So sometimes people go to therapy, they're like, I don't know what to do with it. So let me go talk to somebody about what to do with it. And there's a lot of different approaches that we don't need to go down really that rabbit hole. But you, you did you so eloquently, just describe that process like, this is traumatic, it's affecting everything in my world, whether or not you recognized all of that, in that actual moment, you certainly woke up to it quite quickly, right, as we all do. And, and this is where we get in our heads, right? Are we have these conversations, like you said, this person has your attention, you're sitting in their chair, and they're like, you have a voice.

Unknown: 00:26:40

Mind blowing, right? All of a sudden, yes, I have a voice. So I can take this.

Unknown: 00:26:48

It has brought me this gift of bodybuilding. And it's brought me this gift of that, and this new relationship and this new connection and this new present. And all of this is a result of my trauma.

Unknown: 00:27:02

So perspective, I mean, your perspective is it I mean, it's quite, quite inspiring, quite inspiring. Because while you're going through the motions of sharing this with us today, you know, we can feel the pain, right? I mean, we can relate

Unknown: 00:27:22

the

Unknown: 00:27:24

love speaking with you and thinking about the gifts that I do have, and I am on the other side, and I'm downsizing and we just put an offer on a home and got it I have somebody that is came into my life that is absolutely wonderful to me. So I have a partner, that is definitely a gift that I wouldn't have had without the trauma, I would have been still in a different Lane in a very unhealthy situation. Again, I love my job, I love who I get to help with the fitness industry going through what it did I

Unknown: 00:27:59

qualified professionals, we're ready to get back out and help others. So my team is heart filled, loving, helping others. So I have this healthy space here. And that's why, you know, hope is a funny word that I've always held on to and with hope, I lost hope and trauma. And I was just like living, you know, there's no more hope it's just getting through a day. And getting further away from trauma and no, and seeing help. Hope is back. And you've said it so many times today. And I'm like, you know, hope is coming back. And again, I want to share that with others that feel dark feel in their place, they can't get out of there stuck here

Unknown: 00:28:44

is a season, the storm will pass. And remember the last storm we went through because if you've lived longer than two years, there have been other storms. Um, if you have children, or if you like, if you breathe, you've had a storm in your life and you're, you've gotten past it. And do remember that storms come and go and that there's other people that you can, you know, know when the storm is coming, you grab an umbrella and you have a skill now to look at the next friend, whoever comes in your life to go, Hey, I have this umbrella you need it. And to be willing to be open to share what we do to protect or how the knowledge we gained through trauma, the knowledge we gained through our career, the knowledge we gained through relationships, that knowledge like you said, people want to keep things separated because or that We're different because our skin is different or our preferences are different or our our our faith is different. But really, when you look at an inanimate object like an umbrella, it's there to protect you and he of course, that doesn't attach to any other thing except protection of of something and we should be willing to pay to help protect

Unknown: 00:30:00

Some others, like we would protect ourselves, and that's treating others like we want to be treated.

Unknown: 00:30:06

And so with all the violence in our world, and I can't fix all that I can't fix politics, I can't fix. Well, what I can do is that next person that comes through my door that is in front of me that needs a place to stay, that whatever, I can show that love and compassion and see the person that stands in front of me, that has a beating heart that I know in their has their own trauma and say, Hello, I see you. I Amen. Can I get an amen? Yeah.

Unknown: 00:30:39

Right. And I, what really just jumped out to me, I thank you so much.

Unknown: 00:30:45

You know, seeing other people just see them and know that you are connected to them.

Unknown: 00:30:55

They are not the enemy, they are not different than you are, they are not better, they are not worse, they are not any of that. They are one other human being do the best. No, I don't care how you do that. See? So as you can see, yes.

Unknown: 00:31:11

CEOs CFOs, to janitors to the cleaning crew. You know,

Unknown: 00:31:17

I say the person because I know no matter where they're on on a pay scale, or no matter where they're at, in education, I see you, yes, I don't see your job, I don't see your potential. I don't see your past. I see you hear in my presence. And I will respect you as a human. And I think if we all took that lesson, wouldn't it be great? Oh, and we can and we are and the people that are coming to this podcast are they get it, they hear you. And you know, one of the biggest messages here is, while Danielle had a lot to be afraid of.

Unknown: 00:31:56

There were a lot of things to justify in action, and an inability to change

Unknown: 00:32:07

her Higher Self

Unknown: 00:32:11

knew all along. We're gonna go this way. So you can get over here. You're going to experience this so you can appreciate that. Right? There is not better than here here is not better than there. Now that's a lot to swallow when you're sitting in a pile of shit, right?

Unknown: 00:32:31

Let's choose face to face now.

Unknown: 00:32:34

But if you can just breathe

Unknown: 00:32:39

and ask for help.

Unknown: 00:32:43

Whether you go in or you go out, or you do both.

Unknown: 00:32:49

You will get there.

Unknown: 00:32:52

Because we all know we are we know as we look at each other, how easy it is to see the potential in another.

Unknown: 00:33:02

So now it's time to see that in ourselves and celebrate that. It's not ego, saying I am strong. I am worthy. I am love.

Unknown: 00:33:16

I am a healer. I am whatever it is that you resonate. That's not ego. That's truth. Yeah, I think there's some humility in it too to know. Yes. And it's not me I'm not strong. I'm not strong. I'm not what I am. My my deep rooted faithful lady than I know. I'm the daughter of the king. And I have there is a higher power. Right? And if I step out that that that power and step aside and no, I was put here on this earth for great things as we all are, I mean the the magic that our heartbeat in our eyes, Blink is so powerful that we can love

Unknown: 00:34:03

love, we can forgive we can help.

Unknown: 00:34:07

And so that is my mission in life is to love to help and to be present in my own life and regardless of what what or who has done what or how they did it to me

Unknown: 00:34:22

letting go moving forward and knowing that I am the daughter of the king, and he has great things for VIP.

Unknown: 00:34:31

Kid as my puppy would say very important puppy. So yes, it is it is the truth. We are inherently worthy and capable. And we are doing nothing alone unless we choose to because we do have the ability to choose right. We're so free. We can choose some bondage if we want to. And that's okay too. If we need to do that to get to where we need to go. We will do what we must

Unknown: 00:35:00

Well, you have been nothing short of a complete inspiration. I am fired up for my day. So I was fired up before we started now I'm like Superwoman, so thank you for that. Can you share a social media contact for yourself in case people want to reach out? You are located in Rochester, as you might. Okay, upstate New York, and it's just Danielle with no I. I don't spell well either. Neither did my dad. Mom still wanted it. So it's Danielle with no i, French and I'm just on Facebook. Okay, I used to have lots of lots of different social media and like I said, taking care of me, which still means taking care of others. So if you want to find me there, you can definitely do that. Absolutely. Or just, you know, stroll on into the center and see you're in Rochester, which I think I shall do sometime. We would love to have you. I would love to be there. So we will definitely make that happen. Danielle, thank you again so much for all that you do. And all that you are. It is it is just an absolute privilege and pleasure to be here with you and to share this work with you. So thank you, thank you so much. And with that family, we will let you get on with your magnificent evening day morning. Wherever you are on your journey. Know that we have absolutely nothing but love for you. Peace