Episode 36

Can You Rely On Yourself?

It’s time to check in. On a scale of one to ten how confident are you in yourself? In this episode we dig deep into our ability to accept and trust ourselves and reflect on how building our self-confidence can influence our journey.

About the Host:

Jani Roberts is the Owner of Alignment Essentials, a health and wellness company spanning the fitness, self-improvement, and mindfulness spaces. She is the creator of the Warrior® Workout, Moving Meditations™, Inspirational Conversations™ and all of the Alignment Essentials programming content. In addition, Jani is an International best-selling author of the book, Navigating the Clickety-Clack, How to Live a Peace-Filled Life in a Seemingly Toxic World.

Jani has over 40 years of experience in the health and wellness field. She owned and operated a large gym franchise in Florida, as well as a boutique studio for several years where she specialized in health and wellness related services, products, preventative health education, personal training, small group fitness classes, private nutrition and health coaching.

She has literally trained hundreds of thousands of instructors around the world, and she was the featured choreographer and performer on numerous training DVDs. She has presented for dozens of large Health and Wellness brands such as Nike, and Adidas. She holds several certifications through ACE, AFAA and NASM.

Jani travels extensively as a speaker and presenter sharing her Alignment Essentials wellness tools and helping people find more joy in their lives and is currently training at the Shamanic Institute of Healing. 

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Transcript
Unknown:

What?, life isn't supposed to suck. Get out of here. Life is supposed to be good for me? I don't think so. Truth? Did you know that you have the power to create your own reality? True? Did you know that you can live the life that you've always desired? Holy?That's right. And that's why we're here. Are you ready, unless you're on Joy overload, you've come to the right place, it's time to get out of your own way and start creating more of what you want, and less of what you don't end up with the excuses. I'm your host, Jani Roberts, let's do this.

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Welcome back. Hello, hello, hello, I'm excited to be here with you today, to discuss something that each of us deals with on a regular basis, it comes and goes. And we can count on that. And that is self confidence.

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Now, this is something that we can really get some traction with.

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But creating the foundation

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prior to trying to build on top of something shaky, is really key. Because if we've suffered throughout our lives, really lacking confidence, in any way, shape or form, then we're kind of faking it till we make it. And I've certainly done that I don't know about you, but we do the best we can with what we have in the moment, and we don't know what we don't know. So today, we're going to dive in and really work on this foundation. So we can gain some clarity around how we can do this once and for all, if you will, to continue to work and progress. But really build that solid foundation, so that we know we have that stability, and that we can always go within to find that confidence, regardless of what's happening

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around us, within us, all of it. So first of all, let's look at how its defined self confidence, you know, we want to we'll want to look at some different perspectives here. And then we'll bring it all together. So confidence is defined as

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a belief or a feeling that we can be certain, or we can rely on someone or you know, for talking about competence in general, or self confidence, rely on our selves, or on some thing. And we're gonna get into that as well, because that's where we talk about how we really want to tap into our spiritual conscious confidence and how important what an important part that plays for us.

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Now, when we have confidence in ourselves, then we can rely on ourselves to be who we want to be.

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And, you know, be authentic, right?

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This takes some discovery work, at least it did for me, I don't know, maybe you've got this figured out. But I think we're always evolving and we are changing. And when our environment changes that outward part of our experience, it can shake our confidence.

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It can shake our confidence in our environment, as well is with ourselves and with others. So let's say for example, you walk it, you've been working somewhere for a while, and you suddenly are let go.

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So you had confidence in in yourself that you were doing a good job and that you were solid there, right? You are confident that you're going to be there for a while.

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Maybe not forever, maybe it's not something you want to do forever, but you were confident things were good in the moment, you were confident that the people that were working with you, around you for you, above you, you know, however that dynamic works, you are confident that they were confident in you so that you could be confident in them they expressed that

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and you would have you would have been experiencing really some spiritual confidence and that while this is all working out for me, and then suddenly everything changes.

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So where does that leave us? With our confidence? Just an example. Okay, let's, let's let's continue here. So, when we feel let down, we lose confidence or an emotion that sits nearby is doubt when we start to doubt ourselves, our situation, we can feel that that foundation shake

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right

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We can feel the unsteadiness.

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We might also perceive it

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a different way, you may perceive it as opportunity, excitement, stimulation might stimulate creativity. While I didn't see this coming. So if we don't freak out, if we're in a place for generally we are self confident, we don't freak out, we could just see it as an opportunity. You know, I've been saying I want more, here it is. So the universe is, is put me in a situation where I can feel free to look, I won't be lazy about it, because I, you know, I don't really want to go look it around, takes a lot of energy. And then bam, there we are, we're looking. So it does depend on where we are with this. But you'll see how the pieces come together here.

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Now, when we're working to build confidence,

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we need to have some kind of plan, or I'm quite sure that we will be disappointed. So this is not a textbook kind of thing. When we look at it

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from a higher place.

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So let me explain.

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The universe is consistent.

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Every morning, you get up the sun is rising, the sun is setting,

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the moon is rising, Moon is setting,

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at least in a way that we can no longer see it based on where we are geographically located. But we're confident it's going to happen. So there are a lot of things in your world, in our world, that we are very confident in. Now sometimes we look around if we watch a little too much television, and we can feel everything, you know, a shakiness about that stability as well, the environment,

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the constant political war that has always been going on and will always probably go on.

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Unless you and I change it. That's our work.

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So deep breath on that one, right.

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So we do know that there, there are things that are very stable, we can have full confidence in.

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So I'm going to ask you to check in

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on a scale from one to 1010, being extraordinarily confident one being like, I got no clue. Where are you in your confidence around source?

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And I know that's a really general question. It's super wide. But do the best that you can.

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I'm not necessarily talking about faith, you may use that language with yourself, jot it down. What is your number?

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So I'm going to share with you where I am.

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I'm at a 10

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when it comes to source, I am absolutely certain source has my back.

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But when it comes to self, this is where I waver

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because I tend to get my own way, because I am a human. Right. I'm a spiritual being. But I'm also a human being. And I do get in my own way, as I have learned to not do that so much.

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My confidence has risen dramatically.

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The universe has remained consistent, always delivering what I need when I need it.

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If I'm smart enough to ask for it, if I remember to ask for what I want, if I'm clear about what I want, if I'm speaking my truth and speaking what I really want because if I'm speaking a bunch of nonsense, that will show up as well.

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So there's a huge responsibility here. But first step, where are we

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so again, your confidence in source

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your confidence in self.

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We're not going to worry about others because that's their work.

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And we're not giving any power to that.

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It can add value. I'm confident that that person is going to do a great job on

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my new kitchen.

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They're going to do a great job I'm confident it all feels good

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checked them out I did my research and all looks good doesn't always go that way. But you're confident. It's mostly gonna go that way.

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But we can only control so much of that.

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What we can control is how self confident we feel, and what our relationship is to source. And that relationship is a direct

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reflection

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of our confidence.

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Like, do I believe this to be true? I can't answer you that for you, obviously,

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you know that. But it's important to look at this. And it's something that, in this practice, we look at all the time because it moves around, and moves around until we do enough of the work. And we go deep enough into this work to stabilize it, because it's already stable, on its own. So it's our relationship,

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our relationship to it.

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Now, I've heard a lot of people

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say things like, God is good, God is always good.

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Whatever supposed to happen, it's going to happen, you know, it's all up to God. And that may be your belief system.

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We have free will.

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So well, whatever you want to refer to, as the creator, God source. You know, that's that, as you all know, if you've listened to this podcast at all, that's your language is your business. Whatever it is that you believe in, you know,

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in my opinion, it's not all on source.

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We are here with freewill. So this can be heaven on earth, or this can be hell on earth.

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I've experienced both.

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How about you.

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And it can bat around in one day I can be heaven, hell, heaven, hell, heaven, hell, geez. kind of exhausting, right.

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Or there can be gaps, really experiencing a ton of heaven

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and then bump into some hell, or some stuff that feels like in between

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part of the human experience.

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Being able to look at what is not working as an opportunity to learn, and to expand creates a very different experience, than looking at what is not working and feeling as though you're being punished. Or it's necessary for you to suffer in order to be worthy of

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peace,

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joy,

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experiencing whatever it is that you want. So your perspective plays a key role

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in your self confidence if people were really beating you down throughout your life, and kind of smashing your self confidence

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there's work to do.

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But I can tell you from experience that a lot of times some of the people that appear to be the most confident are the most insecure.

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And I say that because I've worked in the entertainment industry. And you would think that enabled you know, people could get up in front of a lot of people and they could do you know they could perform or what in whatever art they're engaged in. They must have so much self confidence. That is absolutely not always the case. At all.

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It's more of something that you must do, regardless of how uncomfortable you are.

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So blessings gifts,

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can can really challenge your self confidence. Are you a parent

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did you go into it terrified,

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really self confident somewhere in the middle.

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And if you've never been a parent, you've still parented in some capacity. So you know what I'm talking about.

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So when that doubt creeps in, this is a great opportunity to check in. Where am I? Where am I right now?

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Where's my where's my self confidence? How am I feeling about source right now? Where's my relationship with that? Can I breathe and let go? Can I trust

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is beer creeping in doubts connected to that but very normal going to happen? For sure. A lot

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Am I nurturing that relationship?

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The one

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with myself on the one with creator, am I nurturing that? What am I doing to nurture it?

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Because well, while you're born into a guaranteed relationship with source, you still have to allow it, you can deny yourself, that relationship, that spiritual self confidence, that's what that relationship is, it's part of it is your spiritual self confidence. So you're not just self confident, you're spiritually self confident, well, take a deep breath, maybe say it out loud, I'm not just confident, or I'm not just self confident, I am spiritually self confident that this would definitely take the worry out of things.

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Or at least assist and taking the worry out of things.

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So in order for us to remain self confident, what do we do? What do we have to do?

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We have to take care of our thoughts, we have to be mindful of them.

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To pay attention to them.

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We must pay attention to how we feel this is going to guide us toward self confidence. We ignore how we feel we don't honor how we feel.

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We push against how we feel,

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then that relationship that spiritual self confidence is going to suffer.

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Because we are entitled to our feelings.

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So again, we have to allow them.

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This is where anger can really, you know, can really serve us. It might not serve us as as well as love does. But it can really serve us for example, if you get pissed enough,

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you might become so instantly determined that your self confidence just jumps forward, as it stimulated by that anger. And you're like, Oh, hell no.

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I am not going to allow that. And that self confidence just rises up and takes over. You know, in the moving meditation that I created for self confidence. The lyrics are like that. And I actually created this I was in a hotel in a gym and hotel. And this song rise by Katy Perry, it was just released, it's been out like one day. And I heard it.

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And I was like, wow,

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this is straight up all about the energy of self confidence.

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And there was a there isn't for me, he may feel differently because it's like so popular now you might listen to it differently. But when I first heard it, that I had a certain amount of anger within me and resentment towards some change that was going on within my career.

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And I was being told by a lot of people what I couldn't, wouldn't shouldn't do.

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And that really had me frustrated, I was closer to frustration and anger. But there was definitely some anger there. Probably while I was in the

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unloading that. And so I went ahead and created that movement. I just want to run these lyrics by you. I know you've heard them. I'm quite sure you have. I don't want you to think about them now from this perspective, from this context of what we're discussing now.

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I won't just survive.

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You will see me thrive.

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Can't write my story. I'm beyond the archetype.

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I won't just conform no matter how you shake my core.

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Because my roots

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they run deep.

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Oh, he have so little faith. Don't doubt it. Don't doubt it. Victory is in my veins. I know it. I know it and I will not negotiate. I will fight it. I will transform

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Do you feel source in that? She mentions faith. But you can feel her whole being in this. Like Oh no you don't.

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I almost like I let you get away with this before but not anymore. I'm expanding. I'm learning I'm growing.

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It goes on when the fires at my feet again.

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So she knows this is probably going to happen again. But she's right

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Eddie,

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and all the vultures start circling.

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They're whispering you're out of time.

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But still, I rise in this is no mistake, no accident. When you think the final nail is in, think again.

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Don't be surprised, I will still rise.

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So there is an energy again, there that is there's so much confidence. And and in the moment I didn't, I wasn't 1,000% Confident. But man, as I was creating this and I was ingesting these lyrics for the first time, my confidence was just blowing up.

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Again, this is the power of meditation. And then you incorporate music and movement and

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seriously powerful, easy, easy tool for shifting.

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It goes on I must stay conscious. Now this is so important. I'm not going to bail

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not going to turn away to a substance or addiction or whatever distraction whatever it is, I have to stay present I must stay conscious through the madness and the chaos. So what do I do I call on my angels and they say oh he have so little faith don't doubt it victory is in your veins you know it, you will not negotiate justified it and be transformed. So there is source being completely constant

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and reassuring.

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But the deal is you got to stay present. You got to stay in it with me.

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This is CO creating at its best.

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Here is no mistake

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if you are not now self confident and let's not confuse this with ego. Ego is when you fake it till you make it. I was a pro with that.

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As I you know, my ego helped me because I was building my self confidence. And in the meantime was kind of faking it till I make it you know, and it was feed me some nonsense but it was also helping me get through a bit. I didn't have all the tools that I didn't know then what I know now so okay.

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Boy, I know now.

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So check in

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Where are you on that scale from one to 10

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because I have no doubt and neither does source.

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That whatever it is that you desire.

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You can have, you can manifest anything you want.

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Be clear about what it is that you want.

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Understand that it can move around.

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It may not be infinitely satisfying, may be temporary. But you're just sifting and sorting and that's okay.

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Don't doubt it.

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Your roots, your connection to Source runs deep,

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deeper,

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deeper than we can ever imagine.

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From this human perspective

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so until next time,

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of course, I have nothing but love for you.

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And I am knowing

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that you are moving through this life experience and you are working your practice building your self confidence so that you can be completely conscious in this experience. The universe is counting on you. Until next time, peace