Episode 5
What Were You Thinking?
“The thoughts that we think determine everything.” Explore how our thought patterns directly impact our experience. The power to create your own reality lives within you. Your time is now! Are you ready?
About the Host:
Jani Roberts is the Owner of Alignment Essentials, a health and wellness company spanning the fitness, self-improvement, and mindfulness spaces. She is the creator of the Warrior® Workout, Moving Meditations™, Inspirational Conversations™ and all of the Alignment Essentials programming content. In addition, Jani is an International best-selling author of the book, Navigating the Clickety-Clack, How to Live a Peace-Filled Life in a Seemingly Toxic World.
Jani has over 40 years of experience in the health and wellness field. She owned and operated a large gym franchise in Florida, as well as a boutique studio for several years where she specialized in health and wellness related services, products, preventative health education, personal training, small group fitness classes, private nutrition and health coaching.
She has literally trained hundreds of thousands of instructors around the world, and she was the featured choreographer and performer on numerous training DVDs. She has presented for dozens of large Health and Wellness brands such Nike, and Adidas. She holds several certifications through ACE, AFAA and NASM.
Jani travels extensively as a speaker and presenter sharing her Alignment Essentials wellness tools and helping people find more joy in their lives and is currently training at the Shamanic Institute of Healing.
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Transcript
What? Life isn't supposed to suck? Get out of
Jani Roberts:here. Life is supposed to be good for me? I don't think so.
Jani Roberts:True. Did you know that you have the power to create your own
Jani Roberts:reality? True? Did you know that you can live the life that
Jani Roberts:you've always desired? Holy? That's right. And that's why
Jani Roberts:we're here. Are you ready? Unless you're on Joy overload,
Jani Roberts:you've come to the right place, it's time to get out of your own
Jani Roberts:way and start creating more of what you want, and less of what
Jani Roberts:you don't enough with the excuses. I'm your host, Jani
Jani Roberts:Roberts, let's do this.
Jani Roberts:Welcome back warriors. Alright, let's get to this work. This is
Jani Roberts:the work this is why we're here and what we're intended to do.
Jani Roberts:And we're going to begin with thoughts. We're going to move to
Jani Roberts:beliefs, then we're going to move on to patterns of behavior,
Jani Roberts:and to the best part of her the reality that we're experiencing,
Jani Roberts:living in alignment experiencing more of what we want, and less
Jani Roberts:of what we don't. So let's get started with the thoughts, the
Jani Roberts:thoughts that we think determine everything. First question for
Jani Roberts:you grab a piece of paper, if you'd like, it's really helpful
Jani Roberts:to write this down. What do you believe? What do you believe you
Jani Roberts:can control in your life, it's really important to know this.
Jani Roberts:Because what you believe you can control is where you're probably
Jani Roberts:going to give most of your attention. And whatever you give
Jani Roberts:your attention to is what you're going to experience more out. So
Jani Roberts:let's look at this. If I have thoughts that continue to
Jani Roberts:circulate through my mind, I am going to believe in those
Jani Roberts:thoughts. Let me give you an example. I'm told when I'm
Jani Roberts:younger, that I'm not smart enough, I'm too stupid. I'm too.
Jani Roberts:I'm too smart. I'm too young. I'm too inexperienced, I'm too
Jani Roberts:experienced, I'm too fat, I'm too thin, whatever the label is
Jani Roberts:that someone has placed on you. And perhaps that person was
Jani Roberts:someone that you felt you were supposed to be listening to
Jani Roberts:someone that you looked up to. Yeah, we've all experienced
Jani Roberts:this. What we don't always realize is that we carry beliefs
Jani Roberts:as a result of what these people have said to us now, does this
Jani Roberts:necessarily make them bad people? Not at all. I believe
Jani Roberts:that we do the best that we can with what we have. And what we
Jani Roberts:know, we don't know what we don't know. So if my mother
Jani Roberts:taught me fill in the blank, then I'm probably going to teach
Jani Roberts:my kids fill in the blank. Even if I don't know why. It's just
Jani Roberts:because it's what I know. So now here I am this kid who's been
Jani Roberts:passed down these thoughts, generation to generation. And
Jani Roberts:these thoughts that have been swirling around in my mind are
Jani Roberts:now beliefs. In other words, I believe that about myself, I
Jani Roberts:believe that life is supposed to be hard, no pain, no gain. You
Jani Roberts:know, whatever it is, there's so many scenarios, I don't want to
Jani Roberts:pretend that I know what you're experiencing. But for me, I
Jani Roberts:could certainly say things like, if you want to experience love,
Jani Roberts:then you need to trust. If you want to have things, then you
Jani Roberts:need to work hard. If you want people to treat you, well, then
Jani Roberts:you should treat them well. All relationships are worth
Jani Roberts:dedicating your entire life to, don't ever give up.
Jani Roberts:You have to persevere. If it's not working out, you just need
Jani Roberts:to try harder. Now, did anybody teach me those things? Because
Jani Roberts:they had an intention of hurting me or not helping me or
Jani Roberts:whatever? No, not at all. Now, there are many of us that are
Jani Roberts:experiencing things that are dark. People are teaching us
Jani Roberts:things that are really, really dark, because that's been their
Jani Roberts:experience. And so again, they're passing on what they
Jani Roberts:know what they've experienced, because it's all they know, you
Jani Roberts:only know what you know. So if I believe all men are just evil,
Jani Roberts:and you can't trust any of them, because that's been my
Jani Roberts:experience. And that was my mother's experience, or
Jani Roberts:whoever's experienced and they pass that on to me, then yeah,
Jani Roberts:there might be some trickle down there. And I may end up
Jani Roberts:believing that. So I want to ask you that question. What do you
Jani Roberts:believe you can control? I don't want you to grab a piece of
Jani Roberts:paper and I want you to write it down. What is it in your life
Jani Roberts:that you think you can control? And I can't answer these
Jani Roberts:questions for you. The answers lie within you. No one has
Jani Roberts:answers for you. There's guidance there's perspective.
Jani Roberts:But we each individually have to do the work because that's where
Jani Roberts:the magic is. That's where the answers lie. That's how we
Jani Roberts:expand. That's how we really experience peace, joy, and
Jani Roberts:alignment. So from my perspective, the only thing that
Jani Roberts:we can really, truly control our own thoughts. I can control my
Jani Roberts:thoughts. I can't control your thoughts. But I can control
Jani Roberts:mine. Now, easier said than done, for sure. There was a time
Jani Roberts:when I, I didn't think I could control my thoughts at all. I'm
Jani Roberts:a complete I'm a total crazy person like I'm, I'm thinking
Jani Roberts:all these thoughts. It's like I'm, I have split personalities,
Jani Roberts:there's so much going on. And I can't quiet my mind. There's so
Jani Roberts:much incoming. I don't know where I picked up the belief
Jani Roberts:that what other people think about me matters. But somewhere
Jani Roberts:along the line I did. And it's really forcing me to be in a
Jani Roberts:complete state of struggle. I can't find any piece because I'm
Jani Roberts:never going to be what I think other people think I should be
Jani Roberts:particularly when I don't even know what that is. And they
Jani Roberts:can't articulate it. So certainly I can't. So again, if
Jani Roberts:the only thing that we can control is our thoughts, then
Jani Roberts:doesn't it seem like a good idea that we start working practice
Jani Roberts:that helps us to do just that? How do we do that? How do we
Jani Roberts:start to learn? How do we just get started? How do we learn how
Jani Roberts:to control our thoughts? Not only control them, but recognize
Jani Roberts:them for what they are? What I would like to suggest is step
Jani Roberts:one, first of all, understanding that absolutely nothing is more
Jani Roberts:important than that you feel good. I'm going to repeat it.
Jani Roberts:Nothing is more important than that you feel good. You can't
Jani Roberts:serve yourself and you can't serve others. If you don't feel
Jani Roberts:good. Feel well feel whole, feel worthy. So let's say that in the
Jani Roberts:eye, nothing is more important than that. I feel good. Now this
Jani Roberts:can feel awkward, it can feel selfish, it can feel ridiculous.
Jani Roberts:Like as if you don't know what's going on in my, in my house, you
Jani Roberts:know, you don't understand like, the only thing that matters is
Jani Roberts:that everybody else feels good. Not that I feel good, but that
Jani Roberts:everybody else feels good. My kids, my boss, my partner, did a
Jani Roberts:dog, it just goes on and on. Freeze. Just give it a chance.
Jani Roberts:Nothing is more important than that. I feel good. Okay. So
Jani Roberts:that's true. How am I going to make it so I have to start
Jani Roberts:paying attention to how I feel. This is going to help me to
Jani Roberts:identify my thought patterns. So I begin a process of practicing
Jani Roberts:this, paying attention to how I feel identifying how I feel. I
Jani Roberts:do this on a regular basis. I've been teaching this practice for
Jani Roberts:decades, you're never going to get it done. I'm never going to
Jani Roberts:get it done. But it gets so much easier. And now it's second
Jani Roberts:nature. There's no quick fix to this. This is why we're here.
Jani Roberts:This is the work.
Jani Roberts:So I focus. And I take a few minutes, minutes, just a few
Jani Roberts:minutes a day, in the morning and in the evening. And identify
Jani Roberts:this, how do I feel? Because then I can start to recognize
Jani Roberts:the thoughts that are connected to how I feel. Because what I'm
Jani Roberts:thinking is directly connected to how I'm feeling. This is law.
Jani Roberts:And you can identify this truth very quickly. All you have to do
Jani Roberts:is the next time you start having a conversation with
Jani Roberts:yourself, which by the way, you're having one right now,
Jani Roberts:while you're listening to this podcast, you're going on I don't
Jani Roberts:know maybe I'll actually I resonate with that. I don't know
Jani Roberts:about that part. Maybe you're having a conversation all day
Jani Roberts:long. The only time we don't is when we sleep and when we
Jani Roberts:meditate. And both of those thoughts can still come in on
Jani Roberts:some level. But we can slow it down. Okay, so here we are. I've
Jani Roberts:got these thoughts. I keep thinking them. They are directly
Jani Roberts:connected to how I feel. I'm always circling back to the fact
Jani Roberts:that I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy. I don't deserve
Jani Roberts:whatever it is. You fill in the blanks, only you can fill them
Jani Roberts:in from there. I start jotting down the patterns maybe I pay
Jani Roberts:attention for 30 days and I started noticing patterns, okay,
Jani Roberts:for the last 30 days, I've felt mostly frustrated, self
Jani Roberts:confident, worried, and doubtful. So judgment, this is
Jani Roberts:just the truth. Based on what I've been noticing, consciously,
Jani Roberts:intentionally paying attention to, this is how I've been
Jani Roberts:feeling.
Jani Roberts:Okay, good to know. Now, what would I like to be experiencing
Jani Roberts:more of, and are those thoughts and patterns serving me in order
Jani Roberts:for me to shift into what I want to experience. So again, my
Jani Roberts:thoughts are directly connected to my beliefs. So I could feel
Jani Roberts:myself circling around to that I'm not worthy. Throughout that
Jani Roberts:30 days, it's okay, right now, I'm just observing, I'm not here
Jani Roberts:to judge, I don't want that to, I don't want that to make me
Jani Roberts:feel, you know, even more frustrated, I want to just
Jani Roberts:notice, I want to learn from my own experience, this is my most
Jani Roberts:powerful teacher, this is the only thing I can control. So
Jani Roberts:now, I'm realizing and I'm understanding that by paying
Jani Roberts:attention to how I feel, I'm recognizing my thoughts. And
Jani Roberts:those thoughts are then helping me to understand my beliefs,
Jani Roberts:which create my patterns of behavior, I don't feel worthy,
Jani Roberts:because I'm believing that thought that I was taught, that
Jani Roberts:created a belief that I'm not worthy. So I just keep choosing
Jani Roberts:a partner that makes me feel thought worthy. That makes
Jani Roberts:sense. I'm not crazy, I'm not a loser, because I keep choosing a
Jani Roberts:partner that isn't good for me, doesn't serve me doesn't love me
Jani Roberts:doesn't make me feel worthy. Of course, that's what I'm going to
Jani Roberts:experience. Because my beliefs based on my thoughts are
Jani Roberts:creating this pattern. Wow, this is really powerful. This is
Jani Roberts:important for me to know, because this means I can change
Jani Roberts:it, that pattern of behavior doesn't need to one more time,
Jani Roberts:lead to me choosing a partner that's kind of the same partner
Jani Roberts:all over again. And here, I am still living a life. That is not
Jani Roberts:the life that I really desire. But now I understand why. So
Jani Roberts:what do I do to change that pattern, I have to pay attention
Jani Roberts:to how I feel. Because nothing is more important than that. I
Jani Roberts:feel good. That becomes my priority. So if you're in my
Jani Roberts:space, and when I'm around you, I recognize the fact that I
Jani Roberts:never feel good. Every time I turn around, you're saying
Jani Roberts:things to me. You're doing things that don't support me and
Jani Roberts:feeling good about myself? Do I need to resent you for it? No.
Jani Roberts:Do I need to understand that you are also trying to figure this
Jani Roberts:out? Yes. And do I need to take ownership for what I'm
Jani Roberts:experiencing? Of course I do. Because that is what I can
Jani Roberts:control. Now you might say, well, that's really easy for you
Jani Roberts:to say, but I can't move out of here because I don't financially
Jani Roberts:I can't do that. etc, etc, etc. Okay, I'm not here to judge your
Jani Roberts:situation. I'm just here to crack your heart open to the
Jani Roberts:possibility of having different perspective about what you're
Jani Roberts:experiencing. Maybe it's gonna resonate with you. Maybe it's
Jani Roberts:not, I don't know, I don't have the answers for you. You do?
Jani Roberts:That's what I'm here to share with you is that you do so just
Jani Roberts:try it. What have you got to lose? Give it a shot. And let me
Jani Roberts:tell you something else here that's really interesting. The
Jani Roberts:people that tend to just agitate, keeps showing up in a
Jani Roberts:different way, shape or form. They're here to teach us what we
Jani Roberts:don't want, which really draws our attention to what we do want
Jani Roberts:so in a kind of messed up way. They're serving us because we're
Jani Roberts:absolutely sure that's not what we want. It's like when I got
Jani Roberts:divorced I was crushed it was all my fault what's wrong with
Jani Roberts:me I'm not worthy. I don't deserve to be loved. Bla bla bla
Jani Roberts:it was very real. I'm not making light of it. However, I can
Jani Roberts:honestly say at this point in my life, I just like wrote a thank
Jani Roberts:you lover letter. a thank you letter. Almost a thank you
Jani Roberts:lover, which is kind of interesting, huh? Very
Jani Roberts:interesting, because I'm grateful. Thank you for showing
Jani Roberts:me early in my life. What I absolutely do not want even
Jani Roberts:though I really was sure I did. I do not want a relationship.
Jani Roberts:That's not what I want. I could have stayed there for decades.
Jani Roberts:And if I had, that's okay too, because we're never going to get
Jani Roberts:this work done. We only know what we know. So when people say
Jani Roberts:it's never too late, that's what they're talking about.
Jani Roberts:All we have is time. We think we don't have any, but it's all we
Jani Roberts:have. What are we going to do with it? Let's see, I can worry,
Jani Roberts:I can stress, I can be frustrated. I'm saying all these
Jani Roberts:things because I've done it. I can be angry, done that for
Jani Roberts:decades. I can be sad, depressed, lonely, isolated. And
Jani Roberts:I'm not saying I didn't experience any joy in my life,
Jani Roberts:experience tons of joy in my life. But all of those other
Jani Roberts:emotions and feelings were there as well. And knowing what I
Jani Roberts:know, now, I can honestly say to you, from my heart, that I don't
Jani Roberts:have to do that anymore. It doesn't need to take as long
Jani Roberts:because I'm doing the work. And now I recognize it more quickly.
Jani Roberts:Why? Because nothing's more important than that, I feel
Jani Roberts:good. And if that is really true for you, if that inner being
Jani Roberts:whatever you want to call it, your inner child, your gut,
Jani Roberts:whatever you call it, if that's always nagging at you going, you
Jani Roberts:deserve more, what if? What if nothing was more important than
Jani Roberts:that? You feel good? What if you let the rest of that shit go.
Jani Roberts:And you start controlling what you can control, you start doing
Jani Roberts:the work that you came here that you intended to come here to do,
Jani Roberts:which is to experience alignment, joy, peace. And you
Jani Roberts:can actually come to the place where you're grateful for what
Jani Roberts:hasn't worked in your life. Because once you come into
Jani Roberts:alignment, you're able to look at hot and go, thank you. Now I
Jani Roberts:understand what cold is. You can look at anger, hate, as a
Jani Roberts:powerful words. And you can say thank you. Because now I really
Jani Roberts:know what love is. Now I really understand compassion. You can
Jani Roberts:look at isolation and loneliness. And go Thank you.
Jani Roberts:Because now I appreciate my relationships in a way that I
Jani Roberts:never could have if I wouldn't have known what it was like not
Jani Roberts:to have them. You're doing so well. You created this, this
Jani Roberts:conversation that we're having today. You created it, you
Jani Roberts:attracted it into your experience. You're flipping
Jani Roberts:through podcasts going, Oh, that looks interesting. No accident.
Jani Roberts:You are guided, you are powerful. And you have the
Jani Roberts:ability to create your own reality. You can live in
Jani Roberts:alignment. Is there work to do? Is there a gap to close? Hell
Jani Roberts:yeah. But the ride is going to be interesting. The ride is
Jani Roberts:going to be exhilarating. No more resistance, no more pushing
Jani Roberts:against. Okay, that's not totally true. There'll be some,
Jani Roberts:there'll be some, but you'll have a sense of humor about it.
Jani Roberts:Eventually. It just takes a little time. You already know.
Jani Roberts:This is the work that you need to do. Now, let's get to it.
Jani Roberts:It's time to live in alignment. Your time is now. This is it.
Jani Roberts:We're going to get started. That's all we have to do. Once
Jani Roberts:we get started, the momentum kicks in. And the party is on.
Jani Roberts:Thank you so much for joining me for this episode. I can't wait
Jani Roberts:to chat with you next week. We're going to continue this
Jani Roberts:ride. There's no turning back now once you know what you know.
Jani Roberts:There's no going back. I look forward to talking to you soon.
Jani Roberts:Be well. W Well, warriors, that's a wrap. Until next time,
Jani Roberts:step into your power and remember, we're all in this
Jani Roberts:together and your time is now time to live the life you
Jani Roberts:deserve. Go to alignmentessential/podcastgift
Jani Roberts:to begin your journey. We're outta here. Peace.
